Four Loco
“For Crazy”
I walked into the mini mart near my house. Right away recognized the kids working. I tried to get a job there, put in an application and everything and it had been ignored. I was surprised. Didn’t they know. LOL. Now it was a crazy rainy night and my hood was pulled up around me. They would not recognize me with mascara running and layers of 80’s colored plastic. I looked old and local. Hah.
I walked to the four loco. I think they had just been talking about it, couldn’t be sure.
They had the new stuff.
If you didn’t know, Four Loco just got taken off the market by the FDA because it was deemed dangerous. It was removed because there were a series of high profile deaths. The reasoning behind the removal was that the “Caffeine, guarana and high fructose combined with alcohol is a deadly combination.“ Quote. I was sure that accurate as saying iboprofen and booze could kill you. Duh. But lots of things kill you. Cigarettes, too much vodka, ext…
I had never had the Four before it was removed from the Market. As most people over 23, I was afraid of it, shying away from the brightly painted malt liquor like it was going to bite. I would drink piss before drink Loco, I had declared drunk as fuck at Delores. Seriously!
But then, after they took it off market, I went looking for it. And it floored me, positively floored me. One half a can and my life changed. And if you think I’m kidding, think again.
“Oh you guys have it!” I said, enchanted.
‘Just one of these floored me. And man it was like nothing I”ve ever had.” I said with feeling. “It was like…psychedelic. I saw shit on the ceiling and things about myself. And I was drunk.” (and horny I added in my mind).
They eyed me incredulous open faces from behind the cashier island.
“Yah.” Said the one I had talked to before, a hawaain looking kid with warm brown eyes and good vibes.
“We got it. But it’s not the same.” Said his counterpart, a pale punker with tats. “They took it off the market. I don’t know how this stuff compares, cause I haven’t had it.”
“Ha!” I was ready to go off on one of tangents. Watch out. “So, how would we know guys, I mean seriously. How do we know they didn’t do the whole thing as a publicity stunt? Do you really trust the FDA? Look at GMO crisis for example. How do we know that they didn’t just draw attention to Four Loco as some sort of reverse psychology backwards social experiment. Now, people my age are like curious about it and think it’s “Safe.” Ha.” I scrunched my brow. Wow, that made me sound seriously retarded. Oh well.
“For example,” I continued, “What makes us think that it’s not an other ingredient that makes it both dangerous and appealing, different from other beverages. I mean look what they put in coca cola for example? Or think about when they first started injecting caffeine and white sugar into most of our processed food? Do we even understand they could be inventing new stimulants and hynotics at any time and injecting them into food in weird fourteen syllable words that no-one understands?”
They stared at me. The tatted one opened and closed his mouth.
“I mean, you guys remember how they injected crack into the ghettos right? How the CIA purposely put cocaine into the poor impoverished areas so they could control the civil right movement. Or introduced LSD to the youth movement to distract the true power within it.”
They both nodded with some confidence. Ah, some heads, not a download, but an honest interraction.
“Okay, what makes it crack?” said the one behind the register.
“Have you felt what it feels like on this shit? It is not normal. Totally off the chain. Not alcohol. Look guys, I don’t want to just be all freaky on conspiracy theories, but that is how I feel. “ I shrugged, the rain drops collected on the linoleum. I stood facing my nemesis, the line of brightly colored booze, awaiting soft hands.
Engage.
“No, it’s okay, I like it when people are real and talk like this. It’s cool. They should more.“ Said the kind cat who I had spoken too before.
“Well most people are zombies. You talk to them, they wake up, they forget. For real. It’s like they’re afraid to see it.“ I said.
“Talk about people being zombies….”said the tatted kid and started walking up the opposite aisle. But he wasn’t dissing, just saying.
“No it’s refreshing, instead of this is how conversations always go, you’re really talking, you’re saying something.” Said Kevin.
‘Oh, on the subject of zombies.” I said. Now I was going for broke. Man, I do have a sense of humor, let me tell you. I faced the two boys, cordoned off behind the money machines, wearing blue. I had previously told them that I would look good wearing those blue uniforms because I knew it would accent my blue eyes.
Plunking down the four loco on the counter I was like, “Okay, can I tell you something about Jesus. And you have to promise not be offended.“
Kevin shifted his weight behind the register, and eyed me, not meanly. “Like…what?“
“Are you Christian.?
“Sort of.“
“Good answer.“ I said. “Me too. I only recently re-renounced.“ I said.
They both cocked their heads. I wasn’t even in hit and run mode. I was just having fun.
“He was a zombie.”
“Like, let me explain. I mean what is the definition of a zombie? Well…. A zombie is somebody who rises from the dead. And what is Christ known for?”
“There were others before him though.” Interjected tat boy, he was now in a different spot altogether, leaning on the peanuts. “xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,Hermes, Ra, even xxxxxx”
“Well, even Thoth.”
“Oh you mean Osiris.”
“Possibly.” I was smiling. “So, but that’s not the best part. You got to understand, okay what do they say about Jesus?”
They were silent. Overhead the cameras glinted like cats eyes and the tv murmured a silent neon.
“Well he had two commandment right?”
We all smiled.
“And they also said that Jesus said, “You will know me because they will drive out demons in my name right.”
Kevin nodded.
“But that’s not totally it. I mean, it’s one thing if he’s more powerful than the demons right? But what if…You know if there is a bully on the block who is more powerful than you right?”
They shrugged.
“So what if he was King of the Demons? What if that’s why it’s effective--he can just call them off.”
Kevin disagreed and bumped the quarters into the rack. “Nah, I mean they deal with that in Matthew. It’s not like that. They say in Matthew:
How can Satan drive out Satan? 24If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. 26And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. 27In
“
I paused for a moment. Did he know that that quote was one of the brainwashing techniques of Project Monarch?
“A house divided aye?” I asked. Who else said that?
They were silent. The lights were relentless.
“Lincoln. But let’s think about that really. A house divided? What do most people about Christianity. They think it sucks. They think it is a mechanism of control of people… and it is not divided…what if it was…”
“What if jesus was a double agent.” I said.
“I just know that my life has gotten better since I started dealing with Jesus again.“ said Kevin.
“Oh don’t’ get me wrong.“ I said.
“I call him too. I just have a grain of salt.“ (in my shoe I didn’t add). “I write Enoch.” I said. As though that would explain anything and it did.
Meanwhile, Tatted kid showed me his arms. It was a hexagon and straight natural magic.
“Why didn’t you guys let me work here.” I said.
“You know it’s dangerous if you mess with them. My life has gotten better since I started following jesus.”
But it’s not the material things that are important,” I said,” it’s more than that…”
‘Oh I know.” he shut me down. He knew.
It was dangerous.
“Well, I have a bunch of weapons to defend myself.” I said. Brandishing tiny white wrists. “Like Four loco.”
They gave me the look of death.
“Well, I’m going.”
Next time I’ll Tell you about project monarch.
Le.c
That’s why I have four loco, I’m armed
Project monarch-- some people say that comes
